It is very difficult to be in the position that I am, the “all talk” ambition that falls short of coming through. That ambitious pimple just continues to grow and irritate me and it is time to pop the pimple. Just get on with it. I will admit it is quite difficult in today’s social media style economy that really drives start-ups to be a cusp-millennial/Gen-X person. One that did not grow up with smartphones and “friends” as actual friends hold more value to me than a number. It seems in our business environment, your “friends” are also your bank account. The difficult position I find myself in is a position in which I am incapable of acquiring “friends” just by the click of a button. I always wonder who the person is and why they would want to be friends with a person like me. Furthermore, why would I want to be “friends” with them. I literally have no idea who they are and that stops me from confirming these countless numbers of people who have every ability to benefit a business.
Just recently, I watched an episode of “Black Mirror” and almost threw away ALL of my electronics. The episode was based on the ability to rate a person at any given time for any reason. The higher rated you were, the higher you stood in social class, your ability to get a high paying job, plane tickets, and what car you drove was all rooted in being highly rated. It hit WAY too close to home for me. Seeing the social media platform from a business perspective where I scoff at anything less than a 5-star rating, I have seen myself go to good lengths to recover from a single 4-star rating. We are after all, humans. This episode threw me into a spin considering interaction. How the social platform has been shifted to sell products, just like every other business. From news to politics to religion and back again, everyone is using social media as an outlet for getting themselves higher on the platform of the social elite. Internet famous. So, we watch our words and actions and we choose our friends well so that we can tiptoe around being who we really are. I will say, the person I am on social media is definitely not the real life me.
Due to my imbalance of social media skills and also my stepping away from it time to time, I have realized that gaining the traction I need to continue growth or simply momentum is a difficult task. It is the mark of a terrible magician. Now you see me, now you don’t… for an indeterminate amount of time. In those times of disappearance, things become more and more frustrating, which is exactly why I step away in the first place. Some Joe Shmoe off the street who has never tied or fished more than one day a year goes on to repeat something heard from someone who heard something else from someone. Thus, an expert on ALL subject matter. I have previously expressed this before.
In growing frustration, I have felt there is a way to go about things properly. Without trying to pinch pennies to do so. When you dive into things associated with manufacturing, you can see the utterly brutal side of the fly fishing industry. A place where flies cost pennies to produce, tying materials are fractions of pennies and things are done the way they are expressly for cost management. These moments of thought are often sidelined by my ability to process the fact that a large company and the loyal hashtags can absolutely hold down an at home manufacturer. The money they can throw around and the loyalty they have can make a guy like me appear to be the fool for being reasonable.
The elephant in the room is what holds me back. Myself. The frustrations that I have, the lack of money, all excuses to hold me back to a goal that I could easily achieve. In the words of A Perfect Circle, “Just begin”.
This process will take some time indeed. At least 3 months. I’ll keep those who want to know, in the know. As this process of blogging has turned into a personal venting space. A place for thoughts where only my fingers are the guides.